Negotiating Without Being Perceived as Greedy: Insights from a Negotiation Coach


Negotiating for a higher pay, salary, or raise can be a daunting task, especially for women who often struggle with feeling greedy when making these asks. In part one of this two-part series, negotiation coach Joan Moon discussed the systemic reasons behind this feeling and the importance of addressing mindset. In part two, we delve into actionable advice on how to negotiate without being perceived as greedy. Joan shares her expertise on strategies that navigate gender bias and maintain positive relationships while ensuring fair treatment.

Overcoming the Greedy Perception: Addressing Mindset

Mindset plays a significant role in negotiation outcomes. Joan emphasizes the importance of understanding your hesitations and fears when it comes to negotiating. Believing that you are being greedy or asking for too much will impact your negotiation approach. To address this mindset, Joan suggests using research-based strategies and benchmarking to provide objective data.

One effective strategy is to talk to yourself in the third person. By saying, “Joan is asking for a reasonable amount given her professional experience,” or “Priscilla is asking for a fair amount given the market value for this role,” you create distance from the self-doubt and reinforce the objective nature of your ask. Additionally, considering what your best friend would say to you can help shift your mindset and remind you of your worth.

The Power of Benchmarking: Collecting Data for Negotiation

Benchmarking is a crucial step in negotiation, especially for women who tend to make larger concessions due to ambiguity of information. Collecting data on salary ranges within your organization, industry, and education level helps level the playing field and provides a solid foundation for negotiation.

Joan recommends using the APP approach for benchmarking. First, ask the hiring manager or recruiter directly about the salary range or other benefits. While this may not work for all aspects of negotiation, it can provide valuable information on benefits packages or other non-salary aspects.

Second, leverage your people resources. Reach out to your network, even if it means cold messaging on LinkedIn. Asking for information about salaries in similar roles can provide insights into fair compensation.

Lastly, explore paper resources. Dive into job descriptions, websites like Glassdoor, Fishbowl, and Reddit, and even public information like visa sponsorship details. The more information you gather, the better equipped you are to negotiate effectively. Benchmarking not only reduces ambiguity but also helps shift your mindset by providing objective data to support your ask.

Framing as a Win-Win: Creating Collaborative Solutions

Framing your request as a win-win situation is a powerful strategy to avoid being perceived as greedy. By presenting your ask as a solution that benefits the other party or the organization, you create a collaborative and approachable atmosphere.

Joan shares the example of a client, Maria, who wanted her health benefits package to cover her regular therapy sessions. Instead of framing it as a personal need, Maria presented it as a way to ensure she could perform her job well and serve the organization’s goals effectively. By emphasizing the importance of mental health in her role, Maria was able to secure the coverage she needed.

Another approach is to present a menu of options. Instead of focusing solely on salary, consider other benefits or perks that may be negotiable. By offering a range of possibilities, you give the other party the opportunity to choose what works best for them while still meeting your needs.


Negotiating without being perceived as greedy requires a shift in mindset, thorough benchmarking, and framing your request as a win-win solution. By addressing your fears and hesitations, collecting objective data through benchmarking, and presenting your ask as a collaborative solution, you can navigate gender bias and maintain positive relationships while ensuring fair treatment.

Remember, negotiation is not just about salary. It applies to various aspects of your career, from project deadlines to resource allocation. By honing your negotiation skills and advocating for yourself strategically, you can achieve your desired outcomes and create a more equitable workplace.

So, the next time you find yourself negotiating, embrace the power of mindset, benchmarking, and framing to negotiate without being perceived as greedy. Your worth and contributions deserve fair recognition, and by employing these strategies, you can ensure that you are treated accordingly.



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